Sage tea

I'm drinking sage tea in a futile attempt to ease the throbbing, pounding pain in my head. Hello caffeine withdrawal. I went through this a couple of years ago when I went cold turkey to give up coffee. Now it’s tea, or chai tea I should say. The closest thing I found to replace coffee, only, like coffee I began to get headaches and migraines with it too if I didn’t get the timing right. I tried to wean off both coffee and tea but it didn’t work...just kept getting headaches and needing to drink more coffee/tea so once again I am going cold turkey. I feel so bad. Sick, tired, heavy and a pounding, pounding head. Ever hit your nail with a hammer and had that throbbing pain and know that pricking your nail with a needle so the blood can escape is the best way to ease the pain but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? That's how my head feels and apparently the pain is likewise due to the blood flow so probably if I could drill a hole in my head the pain would ease - but I won’t. I know this will pass in the next day or two, so I just have to ride it out and think of my headache free future that awaits me. May this post remind me to NEVER consume caffeine ever again! It’s NASTY.

Home studio

I don’t feel too lonely...yet. This feeling of being at home on my own, working away with emails for company (and our two puddy cats) has a strong feeling of déjà vu about it. It takes me back to the joys and reclusive isolation of when I worked from home for 6 years trying in vain to get my elearning business up and running. I have since learnt that one cannot do all the work and grow a business at the same time with no support to speak of. Fortunately this will be temporary. A personality like mine needs to be around people. I heard someone the other day mention that alcoholics are idealist melancholics. Ha ha. So true. I am a melancholic who has learnt how not to be idealist...finally. I accept that I need the energy and buzz of other people because I don’t have it inherently within me to generate enough to combat my default melancholic state. But around the right people I soar…
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. SO MUCH TO DO. I have to write 7 training manuals with a training guide each and a power point presentation covering 11 unit standards and featuring something like 70 different scenario and question activities. I also have to develop assessment packs for 21 unit standards for another project and I want to get as much of this done as I can in the next two weeks – or should I say 8 days. Unlikely me thinks which means I’ll be starting my new job with nights and weekends trying to finish these @#$%^& projects. I tried to get out of the big one but Artisan has already committed and so I committed to finishing them. :-(

My last big project for Artisan

I am in Auckland now and had a very successful focus group meeting today for some new training materials I have to write. Ironically this is probably the best job I've done for Artisan, just when I am leaving them. Also Ironic is that I have a feeling it will be so successful that I may have the opportunity to do a LOT more contract work with them...just when I have made the decision to give up all my contract work and focus on my art...

Hmm. I am sure life will tell me what to do.

Tonight I booked Baz and I into the Orbit restaurant on top of the Sky City Tower. I just decided what the heck. Its something that would be fun to experience so hopefully it wont blow the budget too much. Its a surprise for Bazza. He's on his way to the Hotel we're staying at now. Exciting times :-)

Life is smiling at me

I'm in Christchurch after attending a workshop today. The flights were paid for by Artisan's client. I met a woman there who is from Learning State where I am waiting on a contract for so I got talking to her - as you do - to get some kind of feeling about the place I am about to start working in. It was a good thing. I really liked this woman who would be in my team and she was telling me about how excited she is about this new person they are getting so I told her it was me and she was delighted and hugged me. Then I got the phone call from Gary to say the contract was in the post.
It really is strange to me how well everything seems to be happening to Barry and I. Not just all the new changes but the timings as well.

More trepidation

Things have come to a head here at Artisan. No more work in the wings and the big problem of how to release me. I made it easy for them and suggested contracting which was a "beacon of light" in terms of a solution for them. The trepidation comes from having not signed the contract yet for my new role. Not that I see I really had a choice here. I could have dragged the facade out a bit longer but squirmy manipulation is not my thing. I am fairly sure it will all work out. Things just keep working out for me and Baz these days. Unbelievably so. Its been a wonderful thing. Our old selves keep doubting and wondering how long it will last and when things will go spectacularly wrong but our new selves are enjoying the manefestation of our new positive energy.
It helps when the days are sunny and warm. Speaking of which, our anniversary weekend in the Wairarapa was a wonderful magical thing. We just loved it. I could have stayed there a week. Glorious gorgeous oldy worldy wholesome good times and sunshine. It really is so beautiful.

A new role

Sometime next week I will get a contract and formal offer for the position of Senior Advisor, Research and Development. I will get a much higher pay packet and hopefully a few more benefits. I will be starting work sometime in September me thinks and who knows, it could be a wonderful move.
I'm sure I will miss some things about my current role. Having a room all to myself and three new bathrooms to use for a start but it is definately time to move on forward.
In fact, I have to say I am riding a high despite how it sounds in this post. I cant stop thinking about all the coming changes to my life. I get excited and stimulated by change, especially when all signals point to such change as being a positive one. I seem to have had some real awakenings this year and it really is wonderful.
David may be moving out into a flat this weekend which means we can sort our house out and set up our respective studio spaces. Exciting.
I think I might begin painting by simply applying paint randomly to a canvas to see what results rather than trying to paint something in particular. I think I just need to get back to basics and play.
Tonight we are heading off to the Wairarapa for a couple of nights away to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary. Looking forward to it!

100%

I went to my interview yesterday and the recruitment guy told me I got 100% feedback - i.e. they loved me. Wow. Looks like I will be offered the position but I am loathe to hope too confidently - just in case.
I will hear something on Wednesday hopefully. Not sure if this will be an affirmative or just the next stage in the process.
I'm not sure what will happen to gollygoshgumgoo in the interim. I am thinking that it would be good to keep a foot in the Adam door by offering to contract which is kind of against what I decided a few weeks back - to devote my spare time to creative pursuits.
I was looking at my art portfolio and was thinking that my art - my paintings really are not that hot and wondering if I am deluding myself again into thinking I can be an artist.
Bah. Have to meet a woman now about some more possible contract work. I will have to sort all this out soon but in the meantime just need to keep all my options open me thinks.