One more sleep to go

One more sleep til the big fat fella comes down my chimney and gives me presents and drinks my beer...one more sleep til Santa.

I'm at work and not a lot of work is going on. I like my new job though. The people are great and I've been weaning myself off extra work (though still have a bit going on to finish off projects). My work has been more creative than I expected. They had half produced a bunch of resources that need editing, laying out and formatting or 'desk top publishing'. This means I get to do the pretty stuff and everyone has been so impressed. Along with my Yellow Art Awards, I'm now known as the resident artist and given all the arty farty jobs here that need to be done. It's cool. They have even forked out $5000 for the Creative Suite so in the new year I can work with InDesign and Photoshop. Yee haa.

For Chistmas I made a photo montage of childhood photos for Mum and Dad and got these printed on canvas. They turned out great and I think Mum and Dad will be rapt. I also printed off the Yellow Art Award picture and put it in cheap frames for everyone. I still havent got round to painting but I have done a bit of sewing and bought some lovely material for a dress yesterday.

Merry Christmas everyone. XXX

3rd place

Disappointingly for me I didn’t win the prestigious honour of having my artwork on the 2010 white pages. However, a bronze medal is still an honour. I get $500 and go to the Art Awards in March, and will get a certificate or something I presume so that is still exciting and it has been a very exciting few weeks. Congratulations to the other two finalists who got second and third. I don’t know which one won as yet.
Yesterday when I heard I was a little sad and old feelings of only being average at everything propped up. Today I feel better and still validated and appreciate that being selected as one of only three is still a very big achievement.
I am back feeling motivated to materialise a plan I have had for a while now - and thought a lot more about since I got selected as a finalist - to create some more works and have an exhibition and get a webpage and get some of my ideas into production to sell online.

Waiting

I should find out before Friday if my artwork has won the voting competition. Fingers crossed!

Validation

In August 2004 I finally got my very own digital camera and began taking LOTS of photos. Some of these were beautiful shots of Wellington buildings on sunny days where they stood tall, proud and glittering.

I played around with some of these images in photoshop. I had an idea for making tees that would feature these stark contrasted images against bright coloured backgrounds, experimenting with different colours.

When the Yellow Pages Art Awards came round, I entered a compilation of these images but the entry disappeared into the cosmos as all my entries had done in the past. I have no idea how many times I entered. Around 5 times I think.

This year I was just too busy to bother - too much work on to think about spending time being creative. However, the Art Awards people send out reminder emails and when I got the last one - a day or so before shut off, I decided to enter the compilation again and be done with it.

AMAZINGLY enough, it got selected. Out of how many I dont know - but there are only 3 in the final. Its now down to the vote and so I have begun a political campaign to get as many votes as possible. People have been SO generous and have forwarded this on to all their contacts. its been amazing. I have been so humbled by so many well wishes and so many complements. Its been wonders for my social networking too.

I dont know when I find out the results but entries finish on 22nd November. If you happen upon this blog and wish to vote yourself, the link is: http://www.yellowartawards.co.nz/vote.php

The Pig of Happiness

Low profile

I'm head down bogged with work at the moment trying to finish off contracts for my old job while my new job is starting. I spent all weekend working and I HATES it. If ever I needed convincing that I need never do this kind of work again on contract, I have been convinced. I would MUCH rather be sending my art inspired creations around the world like Kim. GO STICKYTIKI.
So I wont be posting much for a few weeks because I didnt want this to be a moan about my work sagas but rather an log of my new creative life.
1 manual out of 5 done. Just another month of slog to go me hopes.
[sigh]

Headache free

Today I woke up without a headache. I even went for a run and no headache - usually runs bring on headaches for me. Oh Bliss. Touch wood it lasts...

5 days and counting

It's been 5 days since I had a drink with caffeine in it and I am still headachy, though on saying that I am way way WAY better than the Hellish mire of pain and nausea that beset me on Thursday and Friday.
Still, I'd have hoped to be headache free by now. I keep getting horrible thoughts that I have a brain tumour or something. Silly I know but a close school friend of mine died recently from a brain tumour and she didn’t know a thing about it until she collapsed one day, by which time it was too late to do anything. She had been suffering migraines for years. I have been suffering headaches for years too but I was also a heavy caffeine drink consumer and most headaches were there on waking and would be eased with a coffee or tea so were obvious caffeine related.
I'll give it a few more days and if they don’t go away I'll see a doctor and demand a brain scan.
So there.

Sage tea

I'm drinking sage tea in a futile attempt to ease the throbbing, pounding pain in my head. Hello caffeine withdrawal. I went through this a couple of years ago when I went cold turkey to give up coffee. Now it’s tea, or chai tea I should say. The closest thing I found to replace coffee, only, like coffee I began to get headaches and migraines with it too if I didn’t get the timing right. I tried to wean off both coffee and tea but it didn’t work...just kept getting headaches and needing to drink more coffee/tea so once again I am going cold turkey. I feel so bad. Sick, tired, heavy and a pounding, pounding head. Ever hit your nail with a hammer and had that throbbing pain and know that pricking your nail with a needle so the blood can escape is the best way to ease the pain but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? That's how my head feels and apparently the pain is likewise due to the blood flow so probably if I could drill a hole in my head the pain would ease - but I won’t. I know this will pass in the next day or two, so I just have to ride it out and think of my headache free future that awaits me. May this post remind me to NEVER consume caffeine ever again! It’s NASTY.

Home studio

I don’t feel too lonely...yet. This feeling of being at home on my own, working away with emails for company (and our two puddy cats) has a strong feeling of déjà vu about it. It takes me back to the joys and reclusive isolation of when I worked from home for 6 years trying in vain to get my elearning business up and running. I have since learnt that one cannot do all the work and grow a business at the same time with no support to speak of. Fortunately this will be temporary. A personality like mine needs to be around people. I heard someone the other day mention that alcoholics are idealist melancholics. Ha ha. So true. I am a melancholic who has learnt how not to be idealist...finally. I accept that I need the energy and buzz of other people because I don’t have it inherently within me to generate enough to combat my default melancholic state. But around the right people I soar…
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. SO MUCH TO DO. I have to write 7 training manuals with a training guide each and a power point presentation covering 11 unit standards and featuring something like 70 different scenario and question activities. I also have to develop assessment packs for 21 unit standards for another project and I want to get as much of this done as I can in the next two weeks – or should I say 8 days. Unlikely me thinks which means I’ll be starting my new job with nights and weekends trying to finish these @#$%^& projects. I tried to get out of the big one but Artisan has already committed and so I committed to finishing them. :-(

My last big project for Artisan

I am in Auckland now and had a very successful focus group meeting today for some new training materials I have to write. Ironically this is probably the best job I've done for Artisan, just when I am leaving them. Also Ironic is that I have a feeling it will be so successful that I may have the opportunity to do a LOT more contract work with them...just when I have made the decision to give up all my contract work and focus on my art...

Hmm. I am sure life will tell me what to do.

Tonight I booked Baz and I into the Orbit restaurant on top of the Sky City Tower. I just decided what the heck. Its something that would be fun to experience so hopefully it wont blow the budget too much. Its a surprise for Bazza. He's on his way to the Hotel we're staying at now. Exciting times :-)

Life is smiling at me

I'm in Christchurch after attending a workshop today. The flights were paid for by Artisan's client. I met a woman there who is from Learning State where I am waiting on a contract for so I got talking to her - as you do - to get some kind of feeling about the place I am about to start working in. It was a good thing. I really liked this woman who would be in my team and she was telling me about how excited she is about this new person they are getting so I told her it was me and she was delighted and hugged me. Then I got the phone call from Gary to say the contract was in the post.
It really is strange to me how well everything seems to be happening to Barry and I. Not just all the new changes but the timings as well.

More trepidation

Things have come to a head here at Artisan. No more work in the wings and the big problem of how to release me. I made it easy for them and suggested contracting which was a "beacon of light" in terms of a solution for them. The trepidation comes from having not signed the contract yet for my new role. Not that I see I really had a choice here. I could have dragged the facade out a bit longer but squirmy manipulation is not my thing. I am fairly sure it will all work out. Things just keep working out for me and Baz these days. Unbelievably so. Its been a wonderful thing. Our old selves keep doubting and wondering how long it will last and when things will go spectacularly wrong but our new selves are enjoying the manefestation of our new positive energy.
It helps when the days are sunny and warm. Speaking of which, our anniversary weekend in the Wairarapa was a wonderful magical thing. We just loved it. I could have stayed there a week. Glorious gorgeous oldy worldy wholesome good times and sunshine. It really is so beautiful.

A new role

Sometime next week I will get a contract and formal offer for the position of Senior Advisor, Research and Development. I will get a much higher pay packet and hopefully a few more benefits. I will be starting work sometime in September me thinks and who knows, it could be a wonderful move.
I'm sure I will miss some things about my current role. Having a room all to myself and three new bathrooms to use for a start but it is definately time to move on forward.
In fact, I have to say I am riding a high despite how it sounds in this post. I cant stop thinking about all the coming changes to my life. I get excited and stimulated by change, especially when all signals point to such change as being a positive one. I seem to have had some real awakenings this year and it really is wonderful.
David may be moving out into a flat this weekend which means we can sort our house out and set up our respective studio spaces. Exciting.
I think I might begin painting by simply applying paint randomly to a canvas to see what results rather than trying to paint something in particular. I think I just need to get back to basics and play.
Tonight we are heading off to the Wairarapa for a couple of nights away to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary. Looking forward to it!

100%

I went to my interview yesterday and the recruitment guy told me I got 100% feedback - i.e. they loved me. Wow. Looks like I will be offered the position but I am loathe to hope too confidently - just in case.
I will hear something on Wednesday hopefully. Not sure if this will be an affirmative or just the next stage in the process.
I'm not sure what will happen to gollygoshgumgoo in the interim. I am thinking that it would be good to keep a foot in the Adam door by offering to contract which is kind of against what I decided a few weeks back - to devote my spare time to creative pursuits.
I was looking at my art portfolio and was thinking that my art - my paintings really are not that hot and wondering if I am deluding myself again into thinking I can be an artist.
Bah. Have to meet a woman now about some more possible contract work. I will have to sort all this out soon but in the meantime just need to keep all my options open me thinks.

Trepidation

I'm in that limbo place right now where I am in with a chance for a new job but have to wait out the process before I know. Its hard to focus on my current work. I am partly hopeful, partly fearful.
I wore a trouser suit yesterday for the interview, had my little laptop in my corporate bag and felt the proverbial ten foot tall and bullet proof. The interview with the recruitment agency went well. It was a sunny day. I felt on top of the world.
It's been almost 24 hours now though and no word yet on the next stage. As soon as I know an interview time I can focus again.
In the meantime I need to get stuck into my current work - LOADS to do!

The first step

Well I did it. I contacted my own personal client - the one that I have dealt with exclusively for the past 10 years - from my work email and asked if he would consider contracting my company instead of me personally for future work. The idea being that I increase the income and stability of my job and do all this kind of work in work time thereby freeing up my personal hours for personal persuits (the art, crafts and writing).
As a backup I have applied for a couple of other jobs. The meeting with my MD and GM confirmed that the future is not looking to bright. I suspect they would be extremely releived if I offered myself as a contractor so that they could just hire me on a project by project basis if and when they come.
But, Baz and I have a financial plan which relys on my income for just a big longer.
One day soon, I want to be in a position where we are both 'following our bliss' instead of stuck in jobs dominated by the need to earn the associated income. My dream is to have the financial plan working to provide us with the equivalent passive income so we can follow our passions and any income resulting is the proverbial 'icing on the cake'.

Changes

I feel change coming on once again. I have been 'settled' in one job for 3 years now which is the longest I have kept a job. I have finally figured out how to just be in a job instead of always resisting and rebelling and generally allowing my emotions to dominate my actions.
Ironically that now I have settled and finally get it in terms of mature responsible attitude to my job, I might lose it. It seems there isnt enough profit being made in my department and I suspect they may ask me to contract to them rather than be paid wages. Hmmm. We shall see. There are a few ideas I have to work on today so we shall see.

In the meantime, I made a profound decision (for me) the other day to give up my after hours contract work and pursue my creative side in art, craft and creative writing and since then I have felt liberated and will be setting up a room in my home for my creative studio all for my very own self. So exciting!